marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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