Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
