She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize