Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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