that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
