also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
