Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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