Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
even my farts smell like vagina
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
