Can Purell be used as lube?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
