Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
