Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
