I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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