Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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