Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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