im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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