Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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