conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
