I'm gonna have a badass scar
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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