you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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