She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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