then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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