I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
