even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
