you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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