no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
