if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
