Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
