Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
