I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
