I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize