hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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