how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
