Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
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i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
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If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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