we have pet lesbian snakes
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
