I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
