Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
