my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
