I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
