homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Terrible idea I love it
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
