I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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