I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
