I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
