Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
