she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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