how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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