I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
