She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
