HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
