Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
