i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
