Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
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My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.