have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.