dude i'm inner monologue high
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
I hate when you're right.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?