i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"