That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
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