the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smell my finger.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize