i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
