Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
