Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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