well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
