I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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