He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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