Tell her she can't have a vagina
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
